(after Duplex by Jericho Brown)
in her bedside drawer a secret sharp on my bedside table a scolding tea a tea that burns my tongue and throat into my stomach down into my arms down into my arms and up into lungs lungs that pause and clench the heart my heart that clenches to a question is the skylight closed in her 14-year-old room my 14-year-old’s room built eight years ago which went unused when her head lay with mine unused when her head lay next to mine before the ghost in the blues of my dreams in the blues of my dreams a ghost in my arms circles the altar of our family room our family room with a cornered orchid pink flowers faded beside the stone pink flowers beside a stone I once held when I birthed her raw out over my room when I birthed her roar out over our room that first night alone her held in my arms this night now alone without her here held a silence raw between our rooms in her bedside drawer her secret was sharp on my bedside table a scalding tea