(after Duplex by Jericho Brown)

in her bedside drawer a secret sharp
on my bedside table a scolding tea

a tea that burns my tongue and throat
into my stomach down into my arms

down into my arms and up into lungs
lungs that pause and clench the heart

my heart that clenches to a question 
is the skylight closed in her 14-year-old room

my 14-year-old’s room built eight years ago
which went unused when her head lay with mine

unused when her head lay next to mine
before the ghost in the blues of my dreams

in the blues of my dreams a ghost in my arms
circles the altar of our family room

our family room with a cornered orchid 
pink flowers faded beside the stone

pink flowers beside a stone I once held 
when I birthed her raw out over my room

when I birthed her roar out over our room
that first night alone her held in my arms

this night now alone without her here held 
a silence raw between our rooms

in her bedside drawer her secret was sharp
on my bedside table a scalding tea